I feel constant pressure to be thin for my boyfriend?

Hi I hope this helps somewhat..I have been there I am 31 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 9 years I am latina which I am curvy but have been very active most of my life running..bikeriding I have a muscular build and thicker legs due to running and being active..When I was your age I had an eating disorder as well ..It was a horrible time in my life looking back ..I hated my size and thought that I was disgusting looking back now ...I was beautiful ...had attention from boys and many people would comment on my curvy figure.I just didnt see it, and to make things worse I had a bad complex was so shy and would put my head down due to my insecurities..I also starting binging and purging at that time was bulimic..not one person knew about this never told anyone ..I was miserable inside and dystroying my self..,,well to think back my weight issues took over my life...then time passed maybe 5 years down the line from that ...I was involved in a horrible accident and sustained very serious injuries including a Open femur fracture which was very severe ..I almost lost my leg had infection ..many surgeries ..and lost family 3 siblings ...I also was 26 years old so much went on in that time very hard moments...Well anyways my leg is scarred badly not small scarring grotesque scarring ...graphs as well..it was hard to over come looking down at my leg that was so disfigured for sometime I could not even look at it..at that times ..I felt that not one man or person would want to be with me ...Well I also lost the ability to run which I loved with all my heart and I cant ride a bike due to my disability now ..I am sure you can understand the love for running..I went up in Weight due to my injury and depression gain lots of weight ..now I am trying to lose it the healty way..by exercising and eating healthfully ..My boyfriend at one time would pressure me and I felt that he was less attracted to me due to my weight ..and felt that he wanted to be with other woman that were thinner then me ...and back in the past .it was awful on my self esteem...but now I say never let anyone control how you feel about yourself...look at your healthy body and love it ...first..look for woman that have your body shape and are healthy and use them as role models maybe oxygen magazine fitness mags.. woman that are strong and curvy and athletic are beautiful ..you are an athlete that says you care about your body that is half of the battle..Eating healthy often will give you that confidence inside ..feeding your body nutrients it needs, will give you energy and make you glow and help with your depression ...You should not worry about your boyfriend start taking care of yourself and your body and mind...You only get one ...maybe your boyfriend senses your low self esteem ..be more confident have a complete makeover it will help you ...change your style..buy diffent color clothing bright colors ...Grow your hair out or get a diffrent hair style ...be proud of your body and that you have a strong body ...When I was recovering what saved me was that I was an athlete and loved challenging my body ...I didnt give up neither can you ..I am walking again not running but can kick *** power walking...I do think back about the days when I had my disorder but would never want that life again ...Except yourself how you are and look at all your beautiful qualities..and if you want to lose weight and sculpt your body you can..low weights ..swimming ..No man is worth losing yourself too .....be more confident in who you are ,,,thats always attractive your boyfriend will notice ..your more secure ....you will never be stick thin your a runner your muscular and beautiful and strong and curvy ....some men actually love curves ...my boyfriend is caucasion i am latina when he met me...he said he was interested in stick thin ..woman and now he loves curvy strong woman that is all he prefers now ...this boyfriend that you have ...if he cant see your beauty and love you the way you are then ...maybe he is not for you ....Dont worry there are many men that would love ..u and you deserve the best in every aspect ...of your life, including the man you are with....lots of hugs to you and luck hope everything works out for you...